Bad days. We all have
them. Sometimes they are attributed to
major events such as a bad medical diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, your car
getting stolen, etc., but while those certainly deserve the title of 'bad day',
they aren't exactly what I'm talking about here. Much like Chinese water torture, where drip
by drip your nerves are worn raw, leaving you in a world of frustration and
agony, these bad days are the accumulation of little incident upon little
incident perfectly aligned in maddening sequence.
Now, it is scientific fact that there is no bad day that
compares to the West African bad day.
They are actually trying to vote it in as the 6th law of
thermodynamics. (The 5th being something
about "if the possibility exists to obstruct traffic, a donkey will always
gravitate to the area"...but I digress.)
This is why we have phrases like "TIA" ("this is
Africa") and "WAWA"
("West Africa Wins Again") that you can see on a plethora of
whiny Facebook posts. What is NOT known,
however, is whether these bad days are the result of simply waking up on the
wrong side of the bed, or whether they are actually the effects of some
sinister plot against you.
Thankfully, having had my fair share of West African bad
days, I'm very qualified to offer you some suggestions on how to cope with your
bad day. I'll first explain to you the
anatomy of the "bad day" and then offer some pointers on how to
thwart the effects. So without further
ado, here is your Tip of the Week:
Anatomy of a bad day.
These days inevitably start with the early morning calls. They will either wake you up moments before
your alarm or interrupt the one quiet moment you were anticipating all
day. They always come in at least pairs;
it is never just one caller (from whence comes the conjecture of
conspiracy). The calls would be somewhat
tolerable if the subject matter was anything even remotely urgent, but
unfortunately, it is almost always something that could easily have been
conveyed to you at 9 or 10 in the morning.
You will try to brush these calls off and go on with your
morning. You'll just be diving into your
busy workload and schedule when the first of many "I need you's" will
come a callin'. This will be either in
the form of a call or an unexpected visit at your door. You will likely know the person, but at least
10% of the time, you will not. Sometimes
the request is something legitimate, meaning it is within your power to help,
but just as likely, you'll have no idea how to solve the problem, nor why you
are being asked to intervene. These
requests can be everything from some random government paperwork that an employee
needs you to fill out, to a request to be the chauffer at someone's wedding. Always, however, among these "I need
you's" will be the money requests. Notice
the plural--requests. Word of your
rather dour mood will have spread around town by now. There is a commonly held misperception that
Americans love to give out money when they are in a bad mood. (How else does
one explain Santa Clause? A man dressed in red giving out presents to everyone
in the darkest, gloomiest, and coldest time of the year.) So while it may have been weeks since someone
asked you for a gift or a loan, today you will have no fewer than three people
ask you for cash.
In the middle of this, as you are desperately trying to get
back on schedule, something will break.
The usual culprit is plumbing (which explains the veritable nervous
twitch that long-term West African expats experience every time they approach a
faucet of any kind), but the entirety of your household and mechanical
possessions are susceptible to malfunction on these days. So thread lightly...
Everyone knows that the
average success rate on any errand list here in West Africa is 50% on a good
day. (75% success is worth noting on a
calendar; 100% success is practically cause for a national holiday.) On your
bad day, that average dips to an infuriating 20% success rate. You'll find offices and stores closed, when
they should normally be open. The friend
that you need to see won't be home and won't answer their phone. The paperwork you so carefully filled out
will have a tiny mistake that will require you to redo it all.
West Africans, having been alerted to your bad mood by
public service announcement on the morning radio, will transform from their
normal friendly, jovial selves into antagonistic foes. While every other day you get compliments on
your language abilities, today people will scoff at your feeble attempts at
their mother tongue. They will joke with
you in all the normal ways, but much like an older brother who keeps dunking
you into the pool and not letting you come up for air, you'll find their
playfulness suffocating and perhaps a bit cruel. The less you respond, the more they will try,
leaving you trapped in a cycle of ever increasing frustration.
When you are finally home again, just beginning to relax
into the evening and seemingly safe from the outside world, one last person
will show up at your door. They really
should be required to change into a big, red, round suit, as they are really
just the cherry on top of your horrible day.
Now that we know the anatomy, we can try to interrupt the
cycle:
1. Find alone time
any way you can. The bathroom is just
about your only resort sometimes. Make
sure to go often and go slowly.
2. Open your eyes to
all the funny quirks in town that provide a sliver of light-hearted
entertainment. For example, while in the
bank, make sure to check out the snowmen window decorations. The irony of snowmen in West Africa is worth
a smile, and the fact that these decorations stay up all year long provides
another.
3. Drink lots of water.
Hydration is the key to sanity.
Ok...well, not really...but it will give you excuse to go to the
bathroom more often.
4. Avoid
traffic. On good days, West African
traffic is stressful; on your bad day, it is likely to send you into a fit of
rage that is tempted by the possibility of vehicular homicide.
5. Keep watch for the
funny t-shirts. Have you seen a guy
wearing the one that says, "My girlfriend is a lesbian"? (Pretty sure
she isn't.) Or how about the one that
says, "F*** Capitalism"? (Communist marketing at its finest.) It is like a treasure hunt all around
you. Keep watch for the Browns jerseys,
which seem to be on a recent influx. I
even saw a t-shirt from the Lions Club of my very small hometown once.
6. Prepare your standard money request response well in
advance. I suggest something like,
"Thanks for asking. I can't give a
response on that today, but I'll be in touch." Paste a smile on and recite.
7. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? Chances are, you aren't going to succeed
anyway today. Your schedule is making
you miserable, so ditch it.
8. Retreat should always be regarded as a legitimate
solution. The sooner you can get back
into your home and turn off your phone, the quicker your bad day will end.
(Unless of course you come home to a plumbing leak...)
9. Schedule some
emergency time with your calming friends.
Though most West Africans are part of the conspiracy, you can count on
your friends to remain true. You'll find
that their ability to just sit with someone who is cranky is unparalleled. They'll offer conversation, but won't force
it either.
10. Force your brain into making a "gratitude
list." Come up with as many things
as possible that you feel true gratitude for and don't stop until you get to at
least 30. This is especially helpful for
avoiding road rage, if you are going to brave the roads.
Prayer Requests
1. Praise the Lord for a wonderful meeting with our coworkers
in the neighboring country. We brought our
national pastors together to discuss how to collaborate in church planting on
both sides of the border. There was a
real sense of excitement and teamwork.
There were several testimonies of some amazing things God is doing in
the area. Pray for the Kenedougou
region.
2. Today, a group of
us were supposed to go to a village called Siribarasso (in the Kenedougou
region) to show the Jesus film and then tomorrow hold the very first church
service with the small group of believers there. However, there is real persecution going on
there, and one of the leading believers was actually arrested. Pastors are confident that he will be released
soon, but decided our presence would only stir up more problems. Pray that the situation would calm down and
pray that we would be able to join with that small group of believers soon.
3. Our team will be
going to the local prison for an outreach and Christmas event this week. Pray that we'd be able to have meaningful
contact with all there and that we'd be able to encourage them.
4. I was happy to
receive word that a vet team will be coming in January to help us in some
different villages. They will be
vaccinating local cattle for free. This
will be a huge blessing to the farmers of the area. At the same time, I hope to organize a team
of pastors to spend the week in those villages to share the Gospel. Pray that the Holy Spirit would go ahead of
us to prepare hearts.
5. Continue to pray
for Amadou (young man with progressive muscle wasting disease). I saw him again this week, and my sense of compassion
for him was renewed. My heart cries out
for his healing. If he receives healing,
it will be an enormous testimony for the village.
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