Tip of the Week—August 27, 2016

Well, August has come and (just about) gone, and with it, another birthday.  This was one of those insignificant birthdays in that it didn’t mark any major transition--no reflections about “leaving your 20s” or anguished thoughts about getting older and wondering “what have I made of myself”.  In fact, since about April, I’ve been telling people I’m 33, and it wasn’t until a friend questioned me that I realized I was a little ahead of myself.

However, this birthday was very instructive about life in West Africa. The contrasts—the downright paradox—of life here are accented on your birthday.  As Westerners, we expect our birthdays to be smooth sailing; we expect people and circumstances to be kind. (“Kind” being defined as “doing whatever I want you to do.”) So when those expectations fail to become reality, it is somewhat shocking, but this shock is nothing more than an increased awareness of the highs and lows.  In some ways, your birthday is just a parody of everyday life.

So I offer you this Tip of the Week: How to Survive Your Birthday (and just about every day) in West Africa.

1.   *Sit yourself down for this* It really ISN’T “all about you!” Birthday culture in America tends to produce the expectation that the day is all about you and what you want.  People say nice things, bring you presents, and refuse to let you do certain work.  The day, and everyone in it, revolve around you.

  In case you haven’t picked up on this, this whole bizarre notion of the world revolving around you just because we’ve arrived at a certain date on the calendar is pretty foreign to the West African world. Setting aside the fact that a sizeable portion of the population doesn’t even know their exact birthday, it is hard to imagine West Africans—communal to the bone—ever arbitrarily setting up a day in which the world revolved around them as an individual.

  So waking up in the morning and reminding yourself that nothing in the cosmos has shifted so fundamentally while you slept as to entitle you to a day as KING is an essential starting point. This will allow you to count the kindnesses as bonuses. (I’ll leave it to you to decide if this wouldn’t be a helpful practice for everyday life…) 

2. Embrace the mundane and the tedious.  While you’d love to run and hide from all the annoying tasks of the day, you’ll be happier if you just face them head on.  After all, have you ever tried to run from these things in West Africa?  (See definition of “Futility”) So strap yourself in and tackle those bills and administrative tasks.  Do a little more work on those nightmare projects (you know, like trying to prove to the local tax agency that the letters they sent you claiming payment in arrears are for colleagues who have since left the country, and who, you are sure, actually made the payments).  Do what you can to clear them out of the way, and then get on with your day.

3. Thank the Lord for your colleagues.  You were supposed to be having a business meeting, but they surprise you with lunch and cake decorated for your birthday.  Their kindness and thoughtfulness are major bonuses in the day.  Separated from family and friends, rejoice that the Lord has called you to a new community of people pursuing the same things as you.

4. Technology is your friend…sort of.  If you need a fix of “it’s all about me”, just sign onto Facebook and read all your birthday messages. Enjoy the Skype call from a friend who didn’t even realize it was your birthday. Just be aware of the nasty principle of diminishing returns with technology.  The longer you spend looking at those messages, the less you are able to count them a special blessing of hearing from friends around the world, and the more you begin to feel cheated by the wall of separation between you and those friends.  Look, enjoy, and move on—after all, you’ve got things to do.

5. Plan your own party.  Sorry about this one, but it’s true.  If you want a party, you are going to have to throw it yourself.  This is actually the expectation here in West Africa, but before you get all down on this, make sure you see it for what it is.  Celebration and joy are never about “me”, they are always about “us”, so if I have the occasion to facilitate “us”, I’ll take it every time.  So plan a special meal, call up a handful of your best friends and let the party begin.

6. Watch for your friends’ culture-crossing acts of kindness.  Sure, they show up an hour late to dinner because they were playing soccer, all while you’ve been sweating over making your own cake and worrying about keeping food warm. Yes, you serve the meal and cleanup.  BUT, while you are busy clearing dishes, they grab a candle, light it, and when you emerge from the kitchen, they sing a very disorganized version of “Happy Birthday.”  They didn’t wait for the cake, and the candle was a jar candle on your coffee table, but these are your traditions and not theirs.  They are crossing culture boundaries into unfamiliar territory in order to make the celebration of “us” easier.

7. Expect the unexpected.  Just please, whatever you do, don’t forget that you haven’t been transported out of West Africa for the day.  The WAWA principle (“West Africa Wins Again” or is it Always?) is still in full effect.  So don’t be surprised when, in the middle of cooking for your own party, a colleague in the capital city calls you to tell you that they’ve found one of your team vehicles full of water and covered in mold.  Don’t be caught off guard when you are finally serving the cake and an unexpected guest knocks at your door to tell you that they’ve found a major water leak in your water main.  You didn’t need water for the night anyway, right?

8. Widen your circle.  When the unexpected happens and threatens to diminish your celebration, just widen the circle.  Combine your business meeting with a birthday lunch. Serve the unexpected visitors cake.  Push the boundaries of “what you will allow on your birthday” out even further, and… Party on!

Prayer Requests

1. Praise the Lord for what He is doing in the village of Fama.  I was there on Sunday with my coworker Tim.  The church continues to grow.  For more back-story, see the following 3 stories: https://www.cmalliance.org/alife/a-new-power-in-fama/  https://www.cmalliance.org/news/2016/05/03/where-are-they-now-part-1/ and https://www.cmalliance.org/news/2016/05/04/where-are-they-now-part-2/

2. Our team will be traveling for a conference in a neighboring country this coming week.  Pray that the trip would go well and that the conference would be a refreshing and strengthening time.

3. Pray for a friend Issa, with who I recently had a great conversation about the Gospel.

4. I’ve been helping out in wound care at the hospital these past couple weeks.  There are so many difficult cases, and a lot of these patients come from very difficult situations.  Pray that the Lord would allow our wound care team to be a place where lives are touched and healed, both physically and spiritually. 

5. The hospital is quite busy right now because of malaria season.  Pray that all of our nurses and doctors would have the strength and wisdom needed for the job in front of them.  Pray that the Holy Spirit would fill each one so that they can overflow Christ’s love and compassion.