Tip of the Week-- June 11, 2015

Church is an every Sunday event year-round, and getting through the service can be a challenge on any given Sunday, but the heat does certainly make things more... interesting.  Remember there is no climate control in West African churches, the services can be long, and the fact that the service is conducted in a language that is not your heart-language can make it hard to concentrate.  Not to fear, there are tips for getting through your Sundays intact, bodily, spiritually, and emotionally.

Seating.  The first thing to understand is that the church pews, or benches, are built according to a plan that was found in a declassified KGB torture file.  Thank you communism.  The back, if there is one, forces you to sit bolt upright, and if you try to slouch even a bit, you'll be driving your knees into the lower back of the person sitting in front of you.  This is sometimes necessary, but I recommend doing it slowly--it would seem that having someone's knees in your back is more tolerable if you adapt to it slowly.  Look on the bright side, you are improving your posture, even if you are getting pressure ulcers on your bottom.  Also, in this position, it is really difficult to sleep through the service, though you'll see people manage to do it, which is a bit discouraging since it reveals exactly how weak you are-- your torture session is nap-able for them.

Choosing your seat is a very critical survival step.  Nothing will make the service more infernal than being stuck in the middle of an overcrowded bench, especially if it is hot.  You really want to aim for an aisle seat, preferably close to a window, door, or fan, and all of this on a bench that isn't already crowded.  You can see how complex this process is, but with experience you will be able to size up the situation and make a split second seat choice, all while avoiding the usher.  Yes ushers...public enemy number one.  But first, a quick aside... many think that a seat under a fan provides a more reliable source of breeze than windows and doors, which may be the case, but please be advised that the fan will always be set three speeds slower than you think it ought to be.  You are now informed. 

Seat picking is very challenging in that there are usually ushers waiting at the door to seat you.  From November to February (cold season) and on cool, rainy days, let the usher seat you without protesting.  This is your public service and assures good relationships with the ushers, which you'll need come hot season.  During hot season, I recommend walking inside and doing everything to avoid eye contact with the usher.  Scout out an acceptable seat and move in that direction.  If the usher tries to redirect you, flash him/her your best million-dollar smile and point to your intended seat. 

In the case of failure, your options are drastically limited.  If it appears that the usher intends to place you in a horrible seat, just about your only recourse is to feign surprise, hold up a finger in the sign of "wait", turn around and walk with purpose out the back door, with the hope of creating the impression in the mind of the usher that you forgot something in the car.  From a safe observation perch, wait until the usher is distracted or seating someone else and then rush the door, getting as quickly as possible to some better seat.

Now, I  would never go so far as to encourage lateness.  Nor am I, in any concrete way, confessing to practicing the following, but I care so deeply for you dear reader, that in the spirit of full-disclosure I must make you aware of one additional tip.  It is true that the early bird gets the worm, but in some churches, the late bird gets the better seat.  At least at the big church in our town, the benches are filled up first and then lawn chairs are placed down the aisle.  Showing up just as the benches are reaching max capacity, can buy you a service in the incredible comfort of one of these lawn chairs. 

This is not, however, an undertaking for the faint of heart, or those who just want to be late out of laziness.  A minute too early, and you get an awful seat on a bench that is stuck in an airless corner.  You show up too late, and the chairs will all be taken and you will face the perilous roulette of usher choice-- to place you outside (not always a bad choice) or to cram you onto a bench where you will literally be sitting on someone's lap (close enough).  This special aisle seating starts about 15-20 minutes into the service and is usually filled within 5-10 minutes.  Best of luck hitting that window.

Join us next week as we discuss church music, the sermon, and dressing for success.

Prayer Requests

1. Thanks for your prayers for the outreach to the village of Tarasso. Seven young men came to know the Lord.  Please pray for their new faith, and pray for us as we seek ways to disciple these guys.  Because they all work in the fields during rainy season, this is a hard time to meet with them.

2.  Pray for a good rainy season.  It seems to be starting slow, and there are predictions that this will be a drought year, which could be disastrous.

3.  Please pray for the stability and peace of the country.  There have been terrorist attacks lately, including the first one in the south, outside of the capital.  This hasn't been cause of huge alarm for us, but is a situation that we are watching closely.

4.  Continue to pray for Amadou, the young man with a muscle disease.  I saw him this week, and it is apparent that our treatments are not making a huge difference.  Please pray for his complete, miraculous healing.  Pray also that we'd have wisdom to know what treatment to give next.

5. Pray for an upcoming training for our hospital administration on Masterplanning-- a system of establishing vision and mission, as well as developing the tools for pursuing that vision.  We believe this is an important time for our national leaders to have these tools so they can lead the way forward for the hospital work.