Tip of the Week--Feb 13, 2016

A year ago, I addressed the issue of asking the wrong question, specifically "why" questions.  Asking, "Why?" here in West Africa often only leads to frustration, and so we recommended that you reshape your questions into something like, "How should I react?"

As I've reflected on recent events, however, I've come to realize that asking better questions is truly a survival skill here in West Africa.  A simple "why" isn't the only question that can frustrate you or get you in trouble.  So this week, I want to tackle the deceptively simply, "What?"

Of all the questions, "what" seems to point the most concrete aspects of a subject.  The answers to "what" questions tend to be fairly definable and understandable, and we often feel that the answer is evident.   It really should not be complex to answer a "what" question, unless of course a plate of mystery meat has just been set before you.  But I digress...

The real problem stems from the fact that we don't really ask "What?" with enough insistence.  We tend to assume the answer to this question based on the context.  We have adages in our own culture against assuming, but the problem is infinitely more complex when you consider cross-cultural dynamics. 

Here in West Africa where indirect communication is the norm, assuming you understand what is being asked of you is extremely dangerous.  You assume the answer to "what" from the context and then walk into a minefield of differing expectations and cultural values.  To be honest, your Western assumptions always answer "what" in a neat and tidy--one could say, "wishful"--way, and that never corresponds to the reality.  So after you've stepped on the first couple expectation landmines, you stand there bewildered and bloody, thinking, "Surely, this is not 'what' was asked of me."  Oh, but it was.

Let's look at a case study to help us understand:

Wedding Chauffer

A good friend is getting married.  A couple weeks before the wedding, he approaches you and asks you to drive him and his bride the day of the wedding.  You agree, and you both leave the conversation happy for this expression of friendship.

But WHAT was really asked of you?  Did you catch it?  Are you sure you understand what all being the wedding chauffer entails?  "Sure", you think: "I know the wedding starts at nine, so around 7:30-8, I'll go pick them up, drive them to the mayor's office, then to the church.  After the service and the meal, I'll take them home."

That's a great start, but let's be a little bit more insistent on asking "What does this involve?"  Are there errands that need to be run the night before that will fall to you?  Do you have to go get the bride's family in some village?  Is midnight a realistic bedtime or was the expectation that you stay up all night, just in case?  Do you need to do the 4am run to the beauty parlor with the bride and her attendants? Are the pictures pre-service?  In which case, does the groom need to be picked up at 6 or 6:30? Is the groom expecting you to help him get dressed and tie his tie? After the service, how many stops does the couple need to make in order to greet family members and where do these people live? (The answer is almost always: All over town.)  Lastly, is there an expectation that late that evening you will go pick up the brides baggage and bring it to the grooms home?

See you assumed you had been invited to an easy 6-hour job, but in reality, WHAT you agreed to was a 24 hour marathon of errands and chaos, acting as driver, errand boy, photographer, wedding planner, and fashion consultant.  Honestly, this is what friends do for friends here, so you have no one to blame but yourself.  I've actually had both the easy 6-hour job and the maddening 24-hour one.  The morale of the story is, you never know until you ask, "What are you expecting of me?"   

Prayer Requests:

1. Praise the Lord for a great celebration of the first 10 years of our hospital last weekend.  The ceremony went so well.  Many government officials were present and spoke highly of the impact of our work on the surrounding community.  Our director did a wonderful job of giving the Lord the credit, giving many examples of the way the Lord just orchestrated the coming together of this work.

2. The outreach in Fama (close to Sikasso) on January 30th went well.  There is a dynamic, but small group of believers there.  During our time there, no one came forward to commit to following Jesus, but in the last two weeks, 21 people have given their lives to the Lord, which almost doubles the size of the church!  Pray that the Holy Spirit would continue His work there.

3. Pray for our team as we work on editing our Team Agreement (the document that describes how we live and work together) and begin to look at our vision and focus for our medical work.  Our first meeting went very well and really unified us even more.  Pray that we'd have wisdom as we finish up this week.

4. In a week, we have a visiting team that will be joining us.  We will be traveling to several villages building open-air churches and doing outreaches.  Pray that the Lord would orchestrate all the details and that He would use us powerfully in each village that we reach.